


Haloed Feelings

by KtheG



Series: Two Celestial's and a Human [1]
Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Death and Resurrection, F/F, FallenHaloGuard, Multi, Pre-Poly, Realization of Feelings, dumb jock energy, smart girlfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:00:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KtheG/pseuds/KtheG
Summary: Chaos. The chaos of not meeting expectations, tracking down a non-believer, fighting a literal demon, and all the while dealing with feelings.
Relationships: Sister Lilith/Sister Beatrice, Sister Lilith/Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Series: Two Celestial's and a Human [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872385
Comments: 7
Kudos: 76





	Haloed Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is really rough and more stream of conscious thought that came to be because of the discord server (yet again.)  
> Hopefully others will enjoy this as much as I did.   
> And there could be more to come.  
> Out of character, two people read this before I'm posting so thanks to Rory and Sig.

Relationships were hard for Lilith. She had spent her whole life training to be the next Halo Bearer and her parents had never once given her an ounce of praise for anything she did. The only friendship she had stemmed from boarding school in Switzerland, where she first met Beatrice. They had bonded over being raised by nannies and tutors and being shunned by their parents for not meeting expectations. The other girls at their school seemed scared of them, and so the two had grown close in their social isolation. Things didn’t really change when they graduated and went to live at Cat’s Cradle and train with the OCS, but they found friendship was harder to maintain. Despite the fact that both girls had taken their vows, their relationship changed. Gone were the nights spent apart, and here were the nights cuddled together. Mary and Shannon could do it, so why couldn’t they? It worked, and they had proven how well they worked together time and again, so nobody really questioned it. Expectations ceased to exist when they were together, and Mother Superion never had an issue with their relationship.

At least, it worked until the battle at the docks, and Shannon’s death. Beatrice knew that Lilith was next in line for the Halo, but she never put any stock into how badly Lilith’s emotions were tied to the desire to please her parents in quite this way. Parental expectations shaped the majority of their relationship, from Beatrice’s fear of being found out and totally cut off to Lilith’s internalized thoughts that relationships made a person weak. Secrets plagued their whole relationship; they both knew that there were things the other was hiding, but they also knew they didn’t need to know everything. Boarding school had taught them how valuable secrets were and how much a person could destroy another by spilling.

So when Shannon died Beatrice knew Lilith was torn between mourning for their fallen friend and being elated at the fact that she could now complete her whole legacy. Having the church attacked by the mercenaries following them was definitely not the plan, nor was the Halo going to some nobody who didn’t even believe. If Beatrice could remember what happened after the church doors were blasted open, she would be less surprised by Lilith’s reactions. Losing the Halo meant a lot to all of them, but it meant more to Lilith. It meant she had failed once again. Beatrice can’t say she was really shocked when Lilith closed herself off, but she was surprised at the complete 180 turn in attitude. Lilith had always been driven but reasonable. Now, she was driven by fear and jealousy. It wasn’t a good look on Lilith, and Beatrice wasn’t afraid to call her out on it.

They spent several nights arguing over Lilith’s attitude. Words were sharp and cut deep, but neither was willing to back down. Beatrice knows the real Lilith, the woman who is kind and gentle, who loves to be the little spoon on bad nights but is willing to comfort those who are in need. Seeing Lilith turn her back on that side of herself hurt Beatrice.  
Eventually, Beatrice stops fighting for Lilith, and that’s probably what hurts the most. She is unsure of where they stand, but then the girl who got the Halo shows up (Ava, her name is Ava) and Lilith is cruel and Mother Superion crosses a line, and Beatrice finds herself with her arms around the girl (Ava, Ava, Ava). It’s almost an unconscious decision, but Beatrice wants to keep this girl (Ava, Ava, Ava) safe. She couldn’t help Lilith, but maybe she can help Ava.

Beatrice knows the burden of the Halo, even if she’s never had the expectation like Lilith. She knows how heavy it can feel, and she knows how much harder life is with the Halo. All Beatrice wants is to help, and despite the fact that she failed (apparently) with Lilith, Beatrice is pulled to this new Halo Bearer (Ava, Ava, Ava).

Lilith seems more interested in getting the Halo for herself, and so when Beatrice spends three nights in a row by herself, she can’t take it anymore. She walks to Lilith’s room (which is really only a formality. They shared a room for so long) and knocked gently on the door, using a code they created way back in their second year of boarding school. There’s rustling on the other side of the door, and Beatrice is worried that Lilith is going to shut her out for good, but just as she’s turning to leave the door opens and Lilith is standing there, head bowed and arms hidden behind her back.

Beatrice steps into the room and takes in the papers strewn across the floor. She hasn’t seen Lilith sketch in a long time (since they arrived at Cat’s Cradle, her mind supplies unhelpfully) but there are pages upon pages on the floor. Many of them have her own face on them, but there are quite a few with Ava’s face too. What shocks Beatrice even more is the fact that those are the sketches that have the most emotion. Lines are blurred where teardrops have fallen, and it’s all Beatrice can do to keep from crying herself. She turns to Lilith and pulls the taller girl into her arms, hoping to convey all the love she feels for Lilith through the hug. Lilith slowly wraps her arms around Beatrice and the two stand there for Lord knows how long.

Lilith pulls away first, turning to pick up the pages off the floor. Beatrice bends down to help and whispers a quiet I know how you feel as they gather all of the sketches of Ava together.

“I don’t even know why I feel this way, Bea.” Lilith is the first to break the comfortable silence. “She makes me feel so much. I’ve only ever felt this way with you.”

“It’s because she’s ours, Lily. You know how the Halo works better than anybody else here.”

“But I hate her Bea. She took what’s mine and I only feel anger and hate for her. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

“Maybe, but things might change, and if they don’t, you know I’m always on your side.” Beatrice’s words are reassuring, but she knows, deep down, that Lilith’s feelings will change, eventually. The Halo’s burden will eventually be shared between the three of them.

The next several days pass in a blur, but the moment Lilith dies, Beatrice feels it. She feels it and knows, before she even hears it from Mary. She hurts for days; they don’t have the Halo, and her lifeline to her feelings is gone. But somehow, deep in her heart, Beatrice has the feeling that Lilith will come back to them. It’s unexplainable, but just in the same way she can sometimes feel Ava’s fear, Beatrice can feel the ache of longing Lilith has always had.

And so she puts her head down and doubles her efforts in training. Her reassignment is not unexpected, but it definitely isn’t welcome, and it feels wrong. Normally, Beatrice would be the first to follow the rules (Lilith had always been an exception, and apparently, so is Ava.) but she stays. Beatrice turns back and rescues the Halo Bearer from Sister Crimson, and she feels the giddiness that Ava is feeling. Her face is a mask of indifference (revealing these feelings too early would be a massive mistake) but she knows that Ava feels the same, and as she’s pressing cloth into the wound on Ava’s chest (focus on her eyes, Beatrice. Now is not the time) Beatrice knows that the three of them will be able to figure out their dynamic.

They make it to Arq-Tech and get settled before they start training Ava the next day. Planning on how to break into the Vatican takes longer than expected, but Ava is able to phase through twenty feel of solid concrete with her help, and then Lilith is back (her best friend, her other half is back) and calling out for Ava and Beatrice feels a little sting and the fact that Lilith doesn’t even meet her eyes before she’s falling to the ground.

Beatrice is torn in two directions; she’s got one hand on Ava’s shoulder, acting as an anchor for the girl as she comes back from trying to phase through twelve feet of concrete, but Lilith is here, here, not dead and obviously in need of help. Camila is the first one to reach Lilith and Beatrice is grateful for having such good friends. They get Lilith to another one of Jillian’s labs and Beatrice wants to stay away, knowing how her presence might affect Lilith’s emotions, but the pull is too great, and Beatrice leaves Ava. Something is different about Lilith, and Beatrice can’t quite place it, but it feels a lot like what she feels with Ava; almost like there’s another Halo, and it belongs to Lilith. But that can’t possibly be correct, because there’s only one Halo, but here Beatrice stands, waiting for Lilith to wake up, feeling pieces of two different celestial burdens on her shoulders. She knows that it’s nothing compared to what Ava and Lilith feel, but it’s there.

When they determine that Lilith is okay, and she wakes for a few minutes, Beatrice takes her leave, knowing that Camila is more capable of caring than she is. She sees Ava outside Lilith’s room and reminds the girl that it was her who Lilith called out for.

“You should talk to her. You might find you have more in common than you think.”

Ava nods but before she can move, Camila comes out of the room holding the book of journal entries. She gives it to Beatrice with a knowing look in her eyes that Beatrice chooses to ignore. The two of them find their way into a secluded office of some lab coat and Beatrice decides now is as good a time as any to make her feelings known, but Ava is apparently an idiot and she only understands the part where Beatrice comes out, and not the fact that Ava is exhibiting the same powers as Sister Melanie and how they relate to Beatrice herself.

In any case, the whole conversation gets discarded by the time they get to the Vatican. They trade puns, blow up part of the city in order to reach the catacombs and then all of a sudden Lilith is there trying to stop them from going into the tomb, there’s a small scuffle (Beatrice feels the power from both Lilith and Ava) but Ava walks into the wall regardless. Lilith is slouched in Mary’s arms and Beatrice can’t help but feel jealous. Five minutes turn into eight and nine, and then Lilith is helping Beatrice plant explosives just like they used to and Beatrice’s heart feels whole again. 

They explode the Vatican, Beatrice vaguely worries about the consequences, Ava is nowhere to be found but Lilith is pushing her forward into the tomb. They stumble over the rocks and Beatrice can hear Ava calling out for her and she’s the first to reach Ava, who’s not moving but is very much still alive. As she moves to pick up the Halo Bearer, movement in front of her shakes her out of her stupor and she lets out a quiet what the fuck. Ava is attempting to stand on her own but there’s not enough time for her to get to her feet before Beatrice is dragging her out of the wreckage. Lilith meets them there and helps Father Vincent pick up Ava.

The courtyard in the Vatican is in complete disarray when they get there. Tourists and locals are running around trying to find loved ones and phones are ringing non-stop. Lilith takes the lead being the tallest in the group, and Beatrice hangs back with Father Vincent and Ava. They reach the fountain and Ava sits down on the ledge, having regained control of her limbs. Beatrice can feel the fear from Lilith as she stops suddenly and points to their left. Adriel is standing there, a look of pure hatred on his face. Ava makes an attempt to move, but both Lilith and Beatrice hold her back, knowing that the Halo has been severely depleted. Father Vincent ventures forward, and for a minute, the girls worry about his safety, but when he reaches the Devil and starts conversing, Beatrice knows.

She has that sinking feeling in her gut and Lilith doesn’t have to confirm it with her demon powers that Vincent has betrayed them. Ava stands from the fountain and uses Beatrice’s shoulder to support her as she makes her way to the front of their little group, trying to use the Halo as a shield against evil. Lilith joins her and Beatrice takes a post on her other side, and together, the three of them form a wall of protection for all that is good.


End file.
